


These Witches Don’t Burn

by Sea_Lily_Bell



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Anorexia, Brainwashing, Bullying, Canon Bisexual Character, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Delusions, Depression, F/F, F/M, False Accusations, Gambling, Grief/Mourning, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Japanese Culture, Lolita, Memory Loss, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Revenge, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25443973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sea_Lily_Bell/pseuds/Sea_Lily_Bell
Summary: Celestia Ludenberg is engulfed by the flames of hell after committing the greatest sin known to man. Trapped under the fire truck, as her beauty is turned to charcoal, she is overwhelmed by the will to live.Mikan Tsumiki is enjoying a peaceful life at the paradise island Jabberwock together with her beloved Hajime Hinata, whose child is growing inside of her. But her newfound happiness is cut short, when the sins of her past self, catch up to her.One day she finds her dearest friends Ibuki Mioda and Hiyoko Saionji dead. The culprits behind this heinous crime are none other than her former patients, with missing limbs and despair darkening their hearts. The soldiers of despair have once again reformed after hearing the news of the return of their queen; their new messiah is growing inside of a woman.Meanwhile, a washed-up police officer is informed that his son’s murderer might still be alive. The grieving father is consumed by despair as the only thing keeping him alive is his unquenched thirst for revenge.The tragedy unfolds as these two young women’s fates are intertwined in ways they would never have expected.
Relationships: Celestia Ludenberg/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. A Maiden Doesn’t Need Friends

Ribbons in the shape of butterflies.

Knee high socks trimmed with lace.

Pastel pink jacket adorned with heart shaped buttons.

_And the cherry on top…_

A cute mini top hat that was _way too small_ for his head.

_Purposefully,_

_of course._

The lolita fashion designer Novala Takemoto did not care about the gender roles. Or what was acceptable and what wasn’t in the Japanese society where one was expected to follow the rules and not stand out too much.

_But in the end, the nail that sticks out always gets hammered down._

She had picked up the fashion magazine on the train and was skimming through the pages. In the photo Takemoto was playing a pink electric guitar decorated with glittery Hello Kitty stickers. Just because you’re a maiden doesn’t mean you can’t be a little bit punk rock.

This inspiring statement took on a very different meaning after Takemoto got caught up in a drug scandal and was sentenced to prison. After that Sanrio, the company behind Hello Kitty, cut ties with him as he was no longer deemed fit to represent their pure and wholesome image.

_True story._

The train conductor, a very formal and stiff uniformed man with short black hair and crimson eyes, was yelling at a group of kids who were chasing after each other and laughing. This behavior was not welcome in a train environment.

_No fun allowed._

The way he moved his arms and legs reminded her of a tin soldier.

\- “Running on the train is strictly prohibited!”'

_But why did the train conductors’ eyes look so sad? Like two empty black holes._

In Japan they had uniforms for everything:

_Sailor uniforms._

_Maid uniforms._

_Kimono._

_Hakama._

A sea of businessmen in identical black suits leaked out of the skyscrapers after a long day at work, ready to go drinking with their co-workers, while their wives were left to fend for themselves at home. It was the women’s duty to take care of the housework and arranging the vegetables to look like popular anime characters in the bento that their children would bring with them to school tomorrow.

\- “The kitchen is where the heart is.” had her mother always said as she carefully cut the paprika in small circles to create Pikachu’s red cheeks.

Her stomach growled as she carefully removed the flowery furoshiki from her bento. She had not eaten her mother’s homemade bento during her lunch break at school since she had realized that she might get hungry on the train.

The thought of consuming Pikachu’s face filled her with disgust. To make things even worse, she was allergic to paprika, so she had to carefully remove it with her chopsticks, robbing Pikachu of the source of his electric superpowers.

The train passed by the beach where vacationers and young couples in love were noisily enjoying themselves. She wished that it would have rained today. That kind of gloomy weather would have suited her mood much better.

She had intentionally boarded the train that went in the opposite direction of her house today. She didn’t know the destination; she just wanted to run away from her monotonous daily life and forget about everything.

Taeko Yasuhiro had already decided that she would never get married and be submissive to a man. She was destined for greater things. A dream her traditional Japanese mother would never understand.

But right now, Taeko Yasuhiro was nowhere near fulfilling that dream. She was still just an innocent school girl, dutifully wearing her uniform like everybody else, conforming to the expectations and rules of the Japanese society.

School uniforms were first introduced in Japan in 1897 when male students started wearing the traditional Japanese hakama as uniforms when attending private schools.

For women, the Japanese school uniform tradition started around 1900 with the kimonos. During that time period, they were still mainly clad in kimono since Western-style clothing became acceptable much later for the Japanese women than it was for the male population.

The school uniforms symbolized everyone’s right to an equal education, regardless of social status.

She didn’t like her school uniform at all. The brown skirt with suspenders combined with her thick glasses, gave her the appearance of a grey mouse.

Commonplace. Boring. A person nobody would look at.

The kind of person who always sits alone at lunch. The kid who never gets picked during PE. The student who had to wade through a lake of mud in order to retrieve her shoes that had been stolen from her locker and thrown away by the bullies. The girl, who got her head shoved into the toilet again and again while they flushed as their laughter echoed across the stalls.

_What kind of equality is that?_

And yet the world called Taeko Yasuhiro a loner for not wanting to belong in a group.

\- “Anti-social.” said the teacher.

\- “Maybe she is just shy.” responded her father.

She touched the golden cross hung heavy around her neck and prayed to God that a miracle would occur. Maybe if she gave the man in the sky her daily blessings, she would win ten billion yen at the lottery and escape her miserable everyday life. She wanted the starring role, not the one of the insignificant background character.

Or maybe she could be the female villain, a sexy femme fatale who seduced the men to do her bidding. Taeko smirked. Her Christian mother would have fainted at the thought of her daughter dressed up in dominatrix gear.

Taeko prayed that one day she would have the same courage as the eccentric crossdressing lolita fashion designer in the magazine. The man who said, in the advice column aimed at awkward teenage girls, that it was acceptable to be alone because a maiden doesn’t need friends. All you needed to be happy was a fat wad of cash and a frilly dress designed by none other than himself.

Spoken like a true salesman! He almost reminded her of her father.

But if Taeko Yasuhiro had not been wearing her school uniform that fateful day at the train, maybe her life would have turned out differently. Her senpai by one year had also boarded the train at the same time. Taeko’s school uniform had caught her eye and she had been peering at her from behind the newspaper she was pretending to read.

The very same uniform that she was wearing. The proof that they belonged in the same abstract group _._ Both students at a Christian school in Utsunomiya.

Mikan Tsumiki had tried to talk to Taeko Yasuhiro several times but her attempts had been in vain. At school, Taeko would always disappear somewhere in the background, like she was some kind of nymph from a fairytale or the ghost of a deceased school girl who kept haunting the hallways. Even in the school photos, her face looked blurry. Mikan had to play the game of “Where’s Waldo” every time she had tried to spot her in the pictures.

Mikan sighed. Taeko had her nose buried in the fashion magazine and had once again escaped into her own little world. In her imagination Taeko’s feet had lifted off the ground as she flew way above the clouds while Mikan was still stuck on Earth, calling out to her but to no avail.

Even though she had never had a conversation with her except for brief greetings and bows in the hallway, Mikan couldn’t help but feel that there was an invisible bond between them.

Two lonely hearts who became friends because the world had rejected them. She desperately clung to this fantasy, _hoping_ that she would one day escape her unwanted solitude.

_But how does a lonely and attention-seeking girl befriend an intentional loner?_

Mikan had played out the conversation in her head a million times over and thought of hundreds of different conversation topics. But despite that she never had the courage to initiate a conversation with her introverted kouhai.

Defeated, Mikan glanced down at the newspaper. There was a news article about a double murder in town. The victims were a traditional geisha and a female punk rock singer who was relatively unknown. The police believed that it might have been a case of a copycat criminal. For some reason she couldn’t quite explain, Mikan felt a pit in her stomach. She closed the newspaper and put it back on the seat where she had first found it.

The train had finally arrived had its _final destination_. The train conductor with the tired eyes waved and yelled. Taeko snuck the lolita fashion magazine into her ragged old school backpack, in hopes of one day becoming a girl who would sparkle.

Mikan collected her belongings hurriedly. She had spread them out messily all over her seat. The klutz cursed as she accidentally spilled some of the coffee, which she had ordered to seem more adult than she actually was, all over her white school blouse. The young Mikan stumbled backwards when she tried to lift her heavy backpack which was filled with enough food and water for a whole week. It almost looked like she was planning to go hiking in the mountains.

What a coincidence that they had both decided to run away from home the very same day.

As they both exited the train, the two young maidens locked eyes with each other. Taeko turned around quickly and tried to head in the opposite direction. Despite her burning cheeks Mikan finally mustered up the courage to confess her innermost desires.

\- “Taeko-chan!” Mikan yelled louder than she had originally intended. “Would you please… be my friend?”

Taeko looked down at her feet and muttered to herself. She didn’t like the sound of her name attached to that childlike Japanese suffix.

\- “Why…?” she whispered so quietly that Mikan almost didn’t hear her.

Once again their eyes met and this time it was Mikan’s turn to break eye contract. The uncomfortable silence that fell between them made her heart pound like the beat of a drum.

\- “Because… because…” Mikan desperately tried to find the right words.

Taeko had started playing with a strand of her hair, like she always did when she was in a bad mood. Mikan knew this because she had been secretly watching her for a long time. She had memorized all of her cute little tics, like she was learning the vocabulary of a foreign language.

\- “Because I have also been bullied, so I have something to compare to…?” mumbled Mikan who seemed to have completely forgotten about those hundred conversation topics that she had prepared in advance.

Suddenly blood rushed to Taeko’s face and she looked down as she clenched her fists. She had mumbled her response so quietly that this time, Mikan had to ask her to repeat the sentence.

\- “I am _not_ a victim!” yelled Taeko with tears in her eyes and her pride wounded.

When Mikan yelled back, she even surprised herself. She rarely ever raised her voice and she had never heard Taeko raise her voice before either.

\- “I just thought that… you were different than the others!” argued Mikan who tried her best not to stutter.

Mikan, who had been wearing her hair in a messy bun that hot summer day, started tearing at her hair, revealing the uneven ends. Why did it have to end up like this? All she wanted was to be able to hold a normal conversation with someone who would truly understand her suffering!

_Her kindred spirit!_

The rest of the passengers began to leak out of the train. The overworked train conductor with the tired eyes bumped into Taeko without apologizing. She yelled angrily at him to watch his steps. When did she become so feisty? Normally she was quiet as a mouse. Had the words of that strange lolita fashion designer gotten to her head and given her a surge of confidence?

\- “Different!? Are you insane? If somebody is different, it’s you!”

Before Mikan had the chance to defend herself and respond to her kouhai’s surprisingly rude statement, something terrible happened that shook both of them to their cores. It all happened so fast that neither of the girls had time to react.

The train conductor had rushed past them and bumped into Taeko who lost her balance and fell towards the train rails. Mikan yelled her name once again, with the embarrassing suffix attached to it, and caught her just in time. Taeko had been only a millisecond away from death.

Before the train conductor had jumped out in front of the incoming train, Taeko caught a glimpse of his eyes. He didn’t look sad anymore. He looked relieved, like a weight, which he had been carrying alone for way too long, had just been lifted off his shoulders.

The two girls watched in horror as the uniformed man’s body twisted into an unnatural position, as every bone in his body broke and the train rails were dyed in the same shade of crimson as the color of his eyes. His crushed head reminded Taeko of a watermelon at the beach during a hot summer day.

Little did the two girls know that this wouldn’t be the last time they would witness a tragic event like this. Neither of them would ever have predicted the tragedy that would befall the world within the next decade when they would both be students at Japan’s most prestigious high school, ironically named _Hope’s Peak_.

_Nobody could have predicted the monsters the two innocent girls would transform into when consumed by their own fears and crushing loneliness._

_The middle chapter of the story when despair would triumph over hope._

Dusk had already fallen and the sound of sirens echoed through the train station. The police, who had showed up at the scene immediately, had found the two runaway children and ordered them to come with them to the police station. They had decided to take them in for questioning since they had been the closest eye witnesses.

Mikan recognized the strict police officer as the son of the current Prime Minister, Toranosuke _Ishimaru_. Takaaki Ishimaru was unshaved and had grey bags under his eyes. The father of Taeko’s future classmate and _murder victim_ had the same look in his eyes as the train conductor but thankfully it didn’t seem like he would throw himself in front of the train anytime soon.

Taeko’s face was even paler than usual; with her intense scarlet eyes, she almost looked like she had been possessed by the ghost of an unrest spirit. She thought about the train, lonely without its train conductor. How somebody who had always been there could just suddenly disappear one day. The very concept of death terrified her.

\- “Taeko-chan…?” whispered Mikan softly. Whatever they were fighting about before, both of the girls seemed to have completely forgotten about it. “Can you stand up?”

With shaky legs, Taeko stood up with the support of her senpai. Mikan was a little bit taller than her and gave her a shy smile which caused warmth to spread across her whole body. When she smiled at her, Taeko noticed that Mikan was wearing braces. They both looked like kids who get shoved into lockers for being too nerdy to fit in.

In that very moment, Taeko Yasuhiro decided that Mikan Tsumiki was not a threat.

\- “Thank you, senpai.” mumbled Taeko who was way too embarrassed to look her directly in the eyes.

A small voice echoed in the back of her head:

_Apologize, apologize, apologize._

_C’mon, apologize!_

Taeko finally swallowed her pride and whispered quietly:

\- “From the bottom of my heart, I _apologize._ ”

A youthful chuckle escaped Mikan’s mouth. She planted a kiss on her cute little kouhai’s forehead before she had the chance to protest.

\- “I will forgive you because nobody has ever called me _senpai_ before.” whispered Mikan softly in her ear.

For the first time in her life, Mikan Tsumiki felt needed by somebody. A flame had ignited in her chest, with a desire to protect and an equal desire for revenge.

Because in the end…

_They were_

_all_

_just a bunch_

_of_

_bullies._


	2. Money Can’t Buy Happiness

With her heart beating out of her chest, Taeko Yasuhiro was hiding under the bed with the dust bunnies as her only company. She had already given them fancy names to ease her boredom.

The frightened little girl heard loud steps as a stranger’s polished shoes came into view; she shut her eyes tightly and prayed to God that they wouldn’t find her secret hiding spot underneath her mother’s old bed with the large flowery bedspread. She tried her best to think happy thoughts to prevent herself from bursting into tears which would cause her to make unnecessary noise that would alert the intruder.

In Taeko’s vivid imagination, her alter ego Celestia Ludenberg was dressed as a fancy little Victorian lady who lived with her two loving parents and five pet rabbits in an old mansion at the English countryside. She was sitting in her private rose garden where she was hosting a fancy tea party with the Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts as her guests.

Taeko had always wanted a _real_ pet rabbit but hadn’t been allowed to adopt one since her mother was allergic. She wondered if she could somehow convince her father to give her the permission to adopt one, since her mother didn’t live with them anymore. One day she had just packed her bags and left.

She had found another man who _actually_ appreciated her homemade cooking. That was all she had told them before she left.

Her mother was already pregnant with her new child who would serve as a replacement for Taeko. She had already found out from the ultrasound that the child was a boy and had chosen the name _Nagisa_ _Kumode_. Taeko wondered if the child would enjoy mom’s homemade Pikachu bento more than she had.

It’s not like she missed her mother’s homemade lunches with paprika anyway! At least that was what she was trying to tell herself…

Why would you ever need to learn how to cook when you lived in Utsunomiya, the town of gyoza? Taeko had managed to count at least eight restaurants that specialized in gyoza on her way to school.

After gyoza was introduced to Utsunomiya after the Second World War by the Japanese soldiers who were returning home from China, the pan fried dumplings were practically worshipped like a God.

Since she knew how much her kouhai loved gyoza, Mikan had invited Taeko on a date to the annual Gyoza Festival which was held in the Utsunomiya Castle Ruins Park. The best way to somebody’s heart is through their stomach.

Just for the occasion, they had rented two Chinese _cheongsam_ dresses. Mikan had picked a flowery purple dress and helped Taeko who had chosen a red one, to braid her hair, which was still long at the time.

When they arrived at the Utsunomiya train station, Taeko had pulled out her pink camera with her favorite magical girl character on it from her silk handbag and asked her senpai if she wanted to take a commemorative photo with her. Mikan posed dramatically and made funny faces while standing next to the gyoza Venus statue. Her senpai was grinning in the photo, showing her braces. Taeko had a hard time keeping the camera still since she had started giggling hysterically because Mikan looked like such a cute dork. Normally Mikan tried not to smile since the bullies at school had made fun of her braces but she couldn’t help herself when she was together with her adorable kouhai.

The thought of the mouthwatering gyoza, made Taeko’s stomach growl. She blushed and cursed quietly under her breath, hoping that the intruders hadn’t heard it.

When three loud knocks were heard from the door, like some kind of secret code, her father had panicked and ordered her to stay hidden under the bed until the men dressed in black suits had left. Taeko desperately wanted to cough because all the dust had made her throat irritated. To prevent herself from coughing, she bit her lip so hard that it started to bleed. She swallowed as the metallic taste spread across her whole mouth.

_This is the third time this month. When will daddy ever learn his lesson?_

One of the men was bathing in sweat due to the unbearable summer heat. The air conditioner was broken and her father lacked the money and energy to replace it. The large intimidating stranger was sweating so badly that he had to take off his blazer. On his right arm he had a large tattoo that resembled a wolf with bloody teeth. Was he going to consume her just like the Little Red Riding Hood?

The other man was eyeing their ancient second hand furniture with disgust while desperately trying to find something that had monetary value. Taeko couldn’t help but wonder how much money her body was worth. Perhaps that is why daddy had told her to hide under the bed. Taeko swallowed hard and tried not to think too hard about the implications behind _that._

Her father _Yasuhiro_ pulled his sweaty hand through his dark dreadlocks. Her father had always wore his hair like that for as long as she could remember, ignoring any accusations of cultural appropriation. Taeko had inherited his intense scarlet eyes, which made him look much more intimidating than he actually was.

He was dressed like a slob but had the handsome facial features of a French nobleman just like Taeko’s grandfather whose family was originally from Marseille. Celestia Ludenberg hadn’t lied to her classmate Makoto Naegi about her French origins; she had just stretched the truth a little bit.

The loan sharks who couldn’t handle the humid air and the foul stench from the old sofa any longer, had left with an ominous threat that still hung heavy in the air, which made Taeko’s stomach hurt.

 _\- “Yasuhiro,_ you sly bastard! When we come back next Friday you better have the cash ready!” roared the sweaty man with the wolf tattoo while dragging the other loan shark who had passed out due to the heat.

Taeko thanked God quietly for answering to her prayers.

However, her father didn’t seem all that faced by the soul-crushing reality that he had gambled away everything they had. _And a little bit more._

\- “My crystal ball says that there is a 20 % chance at winning at online poker today!” yelled _Yasuhiro_ as he peered into his childhood treasure that his father had bought at a market in Paris a long time ago.

The delusional father of Taeko Yasuhiro was a compulsive gambler with massive debts. Back then Taeko had hated gambling with all of her heart. The gambling demons had taken her father’s amygdala hostage, with fake promises of eternal happiness.

_Looking back at it now, it seemed almost ironic._

_Yasuhiro_ had become addicted to the intense and comforting dopamine rush that gambling gave him, which had changed his brain permanently. After Taeko’s mother had left them, both her father and their apartment seemed to have fallen apart, since neither of them knew how to take care of the house. Bottles were scattered across the whole living room since her father often gambled in combination with consuming alcohol like most addicts did.

Taeko didn’t like when her father was angry and yelled at her. When he was drunk, his face would always twist into an ugly grimace that reminded her of something out of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures. When his breath started smelling like alcohol, she always hid under the bed which was the only place she felt truly safe. To cope with the situation she kept a flashlight, a GameBoy and a stash of manga under the bed to keep her entertained until she could hear her father snoring on the antique sofa that smelled like vomit and old piss.

 _Yasuhiro_ had fallen asleep in front of the laptop which was still turned on. In the light of the computer screen, Taeko could make out her father’s sleeping face. He was snoring on his back with the useless crystal ball still in his right hand. In order to finance his addiction he sold fake designer bags at the plaza. Before he lost his job he had been a successful salesman, so this was no match for a smooth talker like him.

When Taeko Yasuhiro had watched the movie adaptation of her idol Novala Takemoto’s light novel _Kamikaze Girls_ she had realized how similar her own home life was to the lolita main character Momoko’s family situation. Maybe the abandoned lolita fashion magazine that she had found on the train the other day was a sign from God that it was her destiny to become a lolita herself?

Taeko sighed and sat down in front of the computer, next to her snoring father who once again reeked of alcohol. While holding her breath, she started browsing the internet, looking for a lolita dress that she could afford. If she saved up her allowance maybe she could buy one and become just like Takemoto’s self-insert character Momoko?

Unfortunately for Taeko Yasuhiro, the dresses were incredibly expensive. She sighed dreamily as she zoomed in on a dress that reminded her of Alice in Wonderland. She just wanted to fall down the rabbit hole and escape into a magical world of pure imagination.

During that very moment she noticed that her father hadn’t logged out from the online casino. He had already given up, after wasting 100 000 yen. Bright colors flashed across the screen as the light was reflected in her glasses. Taeko, as if hypnotized, decided to play a game of online poker. On the site there was a warning that said that you had to be over eighteen years old to play but Taeko didn’t have to worry about that she was using her father’s account.

Unbeknownst to the young Taeko Yasuhiro, she had just committed the biggest mistake in her whole life. That was the beginning of her own gambling addiction which would eventually spiral out of control to the point when she that would start to hang out in underground casinos and seedy little bars, in the pursuit of the next dopamine rush. Celestia Ludenberg might have tried to deny it but she was truly daddy’s girl.

But Taeko Yasuhiro, who was six years old at the time, hadn’t even seen the warning that was written in very small text. She thought that if she won at the game the scary men wouldn’t come back anymore and things would go back to how they used to be. If she was lucky enough, maybe she could even win enough money to buy one of those lolita dresses and replace that smelly old sofa with a chic new one.

Taeko jumped in surprise when the screen once again flashed in bright colors.

_She had just won!_

Poker didn’t seem so hard after all. When she stared at the cards, she was convinced that she could see some kind of pattern and read the opponent’s thoughts. Taeko’s fingertips touched her necklace with the golden cross around her neck as she thanked God for the gambling luck and decided to play yet another game of poker.

Before she knew it she had been up all night, winning every single game she had tried at the online casino. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating right out of her chest but she could feel the warmth spread across her whole body.

Taeko who was both tired and parched, finally got off the computer. With shaky legs she went into the kitchen. Much to her disappointment, the refrigerator turned out to be almost empty, with the exception an old package of sausages and some moldy cheese.

Dizzy after experiencing her first dopamine rush, she poured some of her father’s lukewarm beer that he had left on the counter last night, into her pink Hello Kitty mug. The taste was strong and bitter but she didn’t hate it at all. It just added to the nice feeling.

Suddenly she heard her father’s screams coming from the living room. This made Taeko nervous because she thought the scary men had come back and assaulted him. She dropped the beer on the already dirty kitchen floor and rushed into the living room.

Her father had finally woken up from his long nap and had realized that Taeko had used his credit card at the online casino. Taeko’s eyes were full of fear as her father raised his hand against her, prepared to give her a good spanking. Perhaps that is why she developed so many strange kinks later as an adult.

\- “Daddy! Wait, please look at the computer screen!” pleaded Taeko who had already gotten her pants pulled down by her furious father.

She pointed at the laptop at the coffee table. Her father calmed down and left Taeko’s pale little butt alone for the time being. His eyes grew bigger than golf balls, when he looked at the numbers on the screen. Slowly a greedy grin spread across his face, which got wider and wider until his jaw popped and made a weird clicking noise.

_Taeko had just won 1 000 000 yen in just one night!_

_Yasuhiro_ had finally returned to his senses. He turned around quickly to look at Taeko who had a smug grin plastered on her face that mirrored her father’s.

\- “Taeko! What in the world!?” exclaimed her father who looked both confused and genuinely happy.

Taeko put her hands on her hips proudly and stuck her small nose up in the air. Then she realized that her pants were still down and her strawberry panties were on display for everyone to see since the blinds were still up. She blushed and quickly pulled up her pink pajamas pants. Once again feeling unconfident, she asked her father shyly:

\- “Are you proud of me daddy?”

 _Yasuhiro’s_ heart was already darkened by greed but Taeko didn’t notice when he scooped her up in a big bear hug and showered her in kisses. When was the last time her father had hugged her? Taeko giggled as his prickly beard tickled her face.

But in his mind _Yasuhiro_ had already made up plans of how he would best utilize his genius child in order to become rich and live the good life for the rest of his days. No matter what the cost might be.

Years later her father’s betrayal still hurt her. Everytime Celestia Ludenberg heard her father’s last name she could feel those bleeding cracks in her stone cold heart ache.

Yasuhiro Hagakure better thank his lucky star for his uncanny resemblance to Taeko Yasuhiro’s father, which might have just saved his life. The poor bum was still in the safety of the robot suit when Celestia Ludenberg’s two other victims were lying on the cold hard floor in the art room, creating a bleeding canvas.

Like some kind of messed up art project that would gain the admiration of many copycat criminals in the future. This wasn’t the kind of admiration that Taeko Yasuhiro had dreamed of when she was young.


	3. Awkward

Taeko Yasuhiro usually sat by herself at lunch and in class. She wanted to sit with Mikan but her senpai’s teacher had angrily yelled at her and told her to go back to her own classroom. She still hadn’t made any friends in her own class since the bullies had forced her do group projects all by herself and she still never got picked during PE.

Thankfully she was a fast runner and often won the competitions at school, much to the surprise of everyone. In reality, Taeko had been working hard to become the best student in her class, in hopes of moving up a grade the next year and being together with Mikan at school all the time.

They didn’t have lunch break at the same time, so all Mikan could do was reserve the bathroom stall for her where she would usually eat her lunch to avoid the bullies. Taeko always looked forward to those brief moments when Mikan opened up the door to the toilet and greeted her with her best smile (she had finally gotten rid of those dorky braces), before the bell rang and she would need to hurry and get back to her classroom.

Taeko, who still hadn’t given up on her dream of becoming a refined lolita, had been disgusted by the idea of eating lunch in the school bathroom, which was almost never cleaned and smelled worse than her younger brother’s diapers, but she didn’t want to hurt her senpai’s feelings. Taeko showed up every day wearing a face mask, held her breath and snuck out as soon as Mikan was out of sight.

Taeko didn’t care about lunch anyway because she was trying to lose weight. Have you ever seen an overweight lolita in a corset? Taeko had seen one once on a school trip to Akihabara and it was quite the miserable sight; the poor lady could barely breathe as she stumbled around in her pink platform shoes with oversized bow ties. To make things even worse there was a rain storm that day that ruined the poor lolita’s lacy parasol, turning it inside out and ripping it apart. The pouring rain made her mascara run down her cheeks until she looked like something out of a horror movie.

Unfortunately, all of the gyoza and Chinese take-out had given Taeko some belly fat, since her father never cooked even though they finally had money again, thanks to her heavenly gambling luck. However, Taeko wasn’t the kind of girl who gives up before the game is over; once she had her mind set on something she stayed determined until the end. She felt good when the numbers on the scale decreased while the numbers on her father’s account at the online casino increased. This made Taeko feel like she had some kind of control for the first time in her life. Back then she didn’t even know what the words “anorexia nervosa” and “compulsive gambler” meant.

However, one day everything changed _._ Something out of the ordinary happened that disrupted Taeko’s usual routine.

It was a beautiful autumn morning, the leaves had changed into different shades of yellow and orange and the acorns had fallen from the oak trees. The children would run around laughing and compete with each other who could fill their bags with acorns first. Everyone except for Taeko, who was usually escaping reality with a thick fantasy novel, because a maiden doesn’t participate in such childish activities. Besides they were already in fifth grade!

But today was different; _a boy_ in Taeko’s class suddenly sat down next to her and greeted her politely with a simple:

\- “Good morning, Yasuhiro-san! Can I sit next to you?”

Everybody, including Taeko herself was in shock. Taeko had never interacted with any of the other students who in turn had never paid attention to her. It was a relationship built upon mutual disdain that everyone had accepted as the only possibility.

There was no world in which Taeko Yasuhiro would ever open up to anybody except for her senpai, who was regarded by everyone as that weird girl with an ugly haircut who always smelled like poop because she spent most of her time in that stinky school bathroom that everyone else avoided, unless it was an absolute emergency.

_This poor boy_ was an outsider, a transfer student from Tokyo who had no idea how the group pressure and social relationships worked among the students in this secluded little Christian school. He had seen Taeko drawing manga in her art book and wanted to take a closer look.

Taeko wanted to refuse and tried to shield her embarrassing drawings of her vampire husbando with her hand but _the boy_ had already sat down on the chair next to hers, without waiting for an answer. Taeko loved geek culture like manga, anime, fantasy novels and video games but she didn’t want to give the bullies yet another reason to make fun of her, so she tried her best to keep her hobbies secret from everyone.

\- “This seat is already taken.” lied Taeko and pretended to look for something in her bag to avoid eye contact.

_The boy_ looked around confused. Taeko’s statement didn’t make any sense since all of the other seats were already taken by their other classmates. For a brief moment he looked like a hurt puppy, which made Taeko feel terrible, so she quickly came up with a new lie.

\- “Uhhhh! I meant the seat was reserved for our senpai Mikan Tsumiki. We were going to discuss…. An art project for the upcoming school festival!”

Unfortunately for Taeko _the boy_ was not very good at reading between the lines and picking up social signals. The thought of an art project at the school festival just made him even more excited.

\- “Wow! That is amazing! You must be really good at drawing to collaborate with somebody who is older than you. Pretty pleeeeeeeease, can I join?”

_The boy_ was not a beautiful child. He was hare lipped and a little bit chubby but not obese. Taeko didn’t like how he tried to make his voice sound so high-pitched because it just felt forced. Like he was trying to be funnier than he actually was. _A fake persona._

Taeko realized that she was being very hypocritical. How could she even have the nerve to judge this awkward nerd when she knew how painful it was to be excluded by everyone?

Taeko did something she never thought that she would ever do. She accepted the boy’s request and even let him look at her manga drawings. Even though he tried to mansplain her and tell her that the anatomy looked weird in some places and that there wasn’t enough action scenes, Taeko suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The interaction with another student, that she had dreaded so much, had turned out to be alright, maybe even a little bit… fun?

Taeko had so much fun with the weird boy that, when it was time for lunch, she had completely forgotten about Mikan who was still waiting for her in the school bathroom. Her senpai had brought a homemade bento that she had made for Taeko because she was worried about her. Lately her kouhai had looked very thin and even paler than usual. Since she had recently been assigned an important position at the school’s health committee, Mikan had decided to take the liberty to investigate the cause of her kouhai’s sudden weight loss.

After seeing Taeko slip out of the bathroom (did she really think she was _that_ stupid!?) Mikan headed over to the toilet and saw the remains of the bento that she had worked so hard to make. The food must have gotten stuck when Taeko had tried flush it down the toilet. Mikan wasn’t sure if she should feel angry or concerned.

When she asked her if she liked the food, Taeko had smiled and said that she was grateful that she had such a wonderful senpai and that it was the best food that she had ever eaten. Mikan was disappointed in Taeko because she had lied to her but also felt sorry for her because she was probably still hungry. Her stomach had betrayed her, by growling once again.

However, today Taeko was sharing lunch with some boy that Mikan had never seen before. Her kouhai had taken a few bites of the sandwich that her new friend had offered her and hesitantly put it down when she realized that it tasted like sandpaper. All food tasted like that nowadays, even her favorite gyoza. (Un)fortunately for Taeko, the boy didn’t seem to notice, he was such a glutton that he had eaten both his own and Taeko’s lunch without even asking. He was her extreme opposite, somebody who liked to comfort eat an unhealthy amount of food when he was anxious.

Mikan decided that she had seen enough and walked up to their desk and slammed down the bento so violently that the rice flew all over the place. The boy picked up a fried shrimp that had landed on the dirty floor and consumed it in one bite. Mikan made a disgusted face and Taeko looked down at her feet apologetically. While force-feeding the very hesitant Taeko, Mikan asked the boy angrily:

\- “Who the hell are you? Why are you bothering Taeko-chan?”

The boy who didn’t seem insulted by the tone of her voice, quite the contrary he even looked a little bit flustered, introduced himself as a timid boy who liked to draw. Before Taeko had the chance to stop him, he told Mikan everything about the art project for the school festival, saying that he wouldn’t lose to Taeko’s amazing senpai, as if it was some kind of competition.

Ignoring him, Mikan turned to Taeko. With tears burning in her eyes, Mikan asked her kouhai how she could invite this stranger to her manga art project before asking her best friend first. Even though this was all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Taeko who couldn’t handle any more social interaction, excused herself and said that she really needed to go to the bathroom. She sprinted all the way home with her cheeks burning and didn’t come back for the rest of the day. The other students had been watching the scene from the corner of their eyes and came to the conclusion that Taeko Yasuhiro must have liked the new boy.

Unbeknowst, to poor Taeko Yasuhiro and her jealous senpai Mikan Tsumiki this was just the calm before the storm, since the bullies had already started plotting against their favorite victim. That lame nerd was their next target but they weren’t satisfied with just bullying him, they had decided that they wanted to try something more creative this time.


	4. The One With the Problem

Mikan Tsumiki felt like an awkward third wheel. Taeko and the new boy were having an intense discussion about which art tools they should buy for the upcoming school festival. Taeko had told Mikan everything but begged her to go along with her unfortunate lie which had somehow become a reality because she didn’t want to ruin her friendship with her classmate. The boy wanted to recreate the scene from Neon Genesis Evangelion when Shinji kills Kaworu but Taeko thought Asuka was a much more relatable character.

Taeko’s father had recently bought a mansion and made a cinema in the basement, all financed by the money that Taeko had won at the online casino. Taeko was over enjoyed that she finally had friends to invite over to her new home and the boy had immediately suggested that they should watch the Neon Genesis Evangelion movie on the big screen together.

That scene in the movie when Shinji masturbates to Asuka’s comatose body had made both Taeko and Mikan extremely uncomfortable but the boy had made fun of them and accused them of being prudes. He argued that this scene was obviously deep and symbolic; the girls just didn’t understand the subtext.

To make things even more awkward Taeko’s dad, who had tried his best to show his hospitality by bringing snacks, had walked in on them in the middle the scene when Shinji lamented how fucked up he was while inspecting the sperm on his hand. Taeko’s father dropped the popcorn that scattered across the whole floor and asked what the hell they were watching. After this incident Taeko always wore headphones while watching anime and made sure to lock the door first.

When they had finished watching the scene Mikan had quickly excused herself and hurried to the newly renovated bathroom to throw up her breakfast. Taeko had rushed after her and held her hair back as she puked, while rubbing her back and trying to make Mikan think happy thoughts.

Mikan was hyperventilating as she left the room, not physically but mentally, and entered a flashback. She was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when her step-father showed up at the door. Her mother was a doctor and was working shift at night, which meant that Mikan was all alone with her step-father.

However, her step-father didn’t move from where he was standing and didn’t even say a single word. He just kept breathing heavily and remained in the same spot for the whole night. Mikan was paralyzed and didn’t even dare to breathe. The sleepless nights had made it hard to concentrate in school, making her grades take a nose dive, which in turn had made her mother infuriated since she had already decided that her daughter was going to become a doctor just like her and take over the clinic.

Her step-father had told her to keep quiet about the sexual harassment and Mikan was terrified of him. When she had finally mustered up the courage to tell her mother about the abuse, she had just told Mikan that she was tired of her “attention-seeking behavior”. After all, Mikan had often pretended to trip and fall, to get attention from everyone since she was scared that they would forget about her otherwise. To her mother this was proof enough.

\- “I was just saying good-night.” lied her step-father as he was sitting at the kitchen table, wearing only his boxers to show off his ripped body.

Mikan’s mother was head over heels for this man. Her mother argued that her step-father hadn’t even touched her, which meant that Mikan must have just imagined the whole incident. This gas lighting would affect Mikan’s mental health throughout her teenage years since she thought that she was…

_the one with the problem._

Taeko helped Mikan stand up, as she with shaky legs headed back into the cinema. The boy had scooped up the snacks that had fallen on the floor during the incident earlier and was stuffing his mouth as if he was starving. Taeko’s father, who still had gambling problems, although Taeko’s winnings mostly balanced them out, was happy that his daughter’s “boyfriend” was so economic.

The boy had showed Taeko’s father the scene when Shinji tried to strangle Asuka and she called him disgusting. Taeko’s father listened intently when the boy explained how Asuka’s voice actress had been asked what she would say if she found out that there was a man in her room at night, who could rape her anytime if he wanted to but didn’t and just stood by her bed watching her intently.

_Disgusting._

Those were the words chosen by the voice actress that had ended up in the final movie script. Taeko noticed Mikan’s distraught expression and asked:

\- “Do you want to have a sleepover party? Just for us girls.”

Mikan giggled and just like that her worries seemed to have disappeared. For the time being, at least. She responded to her kouhai’s question by tickling her until she had a laughing fit. As the tears finally came out of her eyes, Mikan felt relieved but Taeko was still worried. Those were happy tears, she reassured her.


	5. An Eye For An Eye Will Leave the Whole World Blind

Taeko Yasuhiro couldn’t believe her eyes. When she entered the classroom, she saw all of her manga drawings pinned up on the whiteboard. Some jerk must have found her art book that she had forgotten in her desk yesterday. The sadistic culprit had ripped out her drawings and put them on display for everyone to see, in order to humiliate her. The students in the back of the classroom couldn’t contain themselves any longer and started giggling.

With her cheeks burning, Taeko quickly collected the drawings, crumpled them up and threw them in the trash. Her embarrassing fantasies had been exposed to the world. Drawings of herself as a princess, vampires, frilly lolita dresses with dark lace and gothic castle hallways.

Why was she never good enough? If she was too normal, everyone ignored her. If she was too quirky, everyone thought that she was just some weirdo.

In the corner of the classroom, _the boy_ was watching her. He was sitting with Taeko’s bullies. He must have seen this as an opportunity to finally climb up the social ladder and become one of the so-called “cool kids”. Even though he was annoying and weird sometimes, Taeko couldn’t help but feel betrayed. Just when things were starting to get better and she _finally_ had made a friend in her own class.

Denying the boy the satisfaction of seeing her cry, Taeko sat down at her desk and put on her best poker face. She had been practicing in the mirror, in hopes of one day becoming a high roller in Las Vegas.

Unlike her other dreams, this one actually seemed possible since God kept blessing her with gambling luck. Taeko wanted to believe that this was all just a test that she had to endure, to balance out the good luck with some misfortune. Taeko was convinced that every human being was programmed with good and bad luck at birth. This thought always comforted her since it reminded her that things will always get better eventually. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

While Taeko was lost in her own thoughts, the boy had quietly snuck up on her from behind, like a ninja on a top-secret mission. Before she had time to react he pulled out a sharp pair of scissors from his pocket and quickly cut off her braid. Back then, Taeko’s was hair was very lustrous and long, reaching down to her hip. However, Rapunzel’s braid was cut off by the selfish prince.

With a triumphant grin on his face, the boy held up Taeko’s cut-off braid in the air, like he had just won a prize at the local arcade. It was the proof that he now had permission to sit with the other kids at lunch and get picked during PE. The boy had told Taeko that he had been forced to change schools because he had been bullied at his old school in Tokyo. Taeko realized that she should probably feel sorry for him, that he was so scared and insecure that he had given in to the group pressure and become a bully himself. When he smiled, his face reminded Taeko of an evil gremlin.

But Taeko’s hair was her pride and joy, so in the end emotion won over logic. Her tears were running down her cheeks as she darted out of the classroom. On her way out, Taeko heard the bullies high-five the boy as their laughter echoed across the hallways.

Taeko ran past Mikan who was on her way to PE. She had already changed into her gym uniform that looked a little too large for her since she had gotten the size wrong.

\- “Taeko-chan! What’s wrong? Did something happen?” asked the surprised Mikan but Takeo was already at her locker.

In the speed of lightning, she changed out of her indoor slippers and put on her black mary janes that looked like they had seen better days after having been thrown into the mud several times.

Mikan’s gym teacher called out to her and told her that she was late for class but Mikan decided that her kouhai was more important than her already terrible grades. Unfortunately, Taeko had brought her bike to school today and was pedaling faster than an elite athlete. But Mikan didn’t give up so easily. Even after losing sight of her kouhai, she kept looking.

Taeko didn’t know where she was going but she didn’t care either. She just wanted to get away from the laughter that still kept echoing in her head.

Takeo suddenly remembered the backstory of the co-star of Novala Takemoto’s Kamikaze Girls. The novel was about the friendship between two outsiders, the lolita Momoko and the yankee girl Ichigo. At the first glance, they seemed like an unlikely and mismatched pair.

Ichigo used to be bullied as a kid but one day she took her bike and rode it until she was exhausted. Then she ran into a biker girl gang and was offered to join. She created a new identity as the yankee girl Ichiko and tried to leave the old Ichigo behind in the past. She started getting into fights and became more and more aggressive. Ichiko wasn’t a victim anymore, she wanted power.

Taeko had always thought that Momoko was more relatable and likeable but she liked Ichigo a lot too. It was at that very moment, when the exhausted Taeko finally collapsed in the park, she decided that she no longer wanted to be Taeko Yasuhiro anymore. She wanted a new name and a new identity just like Ichiko. Maybe she could become a person who resembled both Momoko and Ichiko at the same time…?

Taeko threw her bike aside, without locking it and sat down on an abandoned swing. She started fiddling with her hair like she always did when she was in a bad mood but then she remembered that it was gone. The boy had cut her hair so short that it almost resembled a pixie haircut. Taeko tried to comfort herself that hair grows out again. Unfortunately for her, it never actually did, so she was forced to invest in some hair extensions later after transforming into Celestia Ludenberg.

The sun was already setting and Taeko realized that the day had just passed by in the blink of an eye. She didn’t want to go home even though it was getting dark. It turned out that her father had been lying to her about his gambling debts which were much bigger than Taeko had initially thought.

The mansion was just another bad decision that her father had impulsively made, without thinking about anybody else or the consequences. He had already hired a broker who was going to estimate the worth of their home. Once again Taeko was back at square one, thanks to her irresponsible father. Lately, she had been hiding money under her mattress, to prevent her father’s gambling demons from stealing it.

Taeko hung her head low. Perhaps if she saved up enough money she could rent a hotel room and buy a laptop. Then she would be able to escape from her father’s clutches and keep the money. It would be difficult to keep gambling at the online casino without her father’s account though. Maybe she could get a fake ID?

When she was in the middle of planning her future, Taeko felt something soft brush against her leg. A small black kitten had walked up to her and was craving attention. It looked thin, like it hadn’t eaten in a while and its fur was dirty.

\- “Did your mother abandon you too?” whispered Taeko to the tiny kitten.

Maybe the cat was destined to become her sidekick, like Luna from Sailor Moon. Taeko chuckled when she imagined herself on Ichigo’s bike, dressed up as a lolita version of a magical girl, solving crime and kicking ass.

But those were just childish fantasies. Taeko realized that the cat’s face looked very similar to the boy who had bullied her and swiftly shooed it away. With a sad meow the cat disappeared into the woods. Taeko’s heart ached and she suddenly felt like the loneliest girl on planet Earth.

\- “Taeko-chan!”

Before she had even finished the thought, she heard her senpai’s voice. As if by magic, Mikan had appeared but she hadn’t spotted her yet. She had stolen an unlucky person’s bike to chase after her. Taeko noticed that she was still wearing her gym uniform. She knew Mikan’s schedule by heart, she had PE in the morning. Had Mikan looked for her the whole day?

Taeko’s heart was torn. One hand, she was happy that her senpai had worried about her when nobody else cared. On the other hand, Taeko was embarrassed and ashamed of the fact that she had troubled her kind senpai. She didn’t want her senpai to see her blood-shot eyes and miserable haircut. Even though that didn’t make any sense, since Mikan looked exactly the same and was the only person who could never judge her.

Taeko jumped off the swing and ran into the forest to hide. She felt both guilty and relieved when she managed to shake off Mikan. Taeko didn’t want anybody to pity her, even if it was her dearest friend. But she was too ashamed to admit that out loud, how much Mikan meant to her.

Maybe that was why she thought Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion was so relatable. Not being able to express your true feelings, bottling up your emotion until they overflowed and came out all at once. Thinking that you were capable of living on your own, that asking for help was a sign of weakness.

Suddenly, Taeko heard a noise. It sounded like the scream of a dying animal. She hurried over to the bushes where the sound came from and was greeted by a shocking sight. The tiny kitten that she had seen earlier, had gotten its paw stuck in a bear trap and was screaming in pain. Taeko felt guilty for shooing it away earlier and carefully helped it get out of the trap. However, the cat was badly injured and had lost a lot of blood.

Taeko was panicking but then she remembered that Mikan always had a first aid kit with her in her backpack. She had been so proud when she had become a member of the health committee that she had practically beamed. Her senpai also had her dreams that she wanted to fulfill.

It was rare for Mikan to be proud of her own achievements since the bullies’ words had gotten to her head. Even though Mikan was much more talented than them and was destined to become a great doctor in the future, with a good salary, a nice house and a handsome husband (or a beautiful wife if that was what she preferred).

If only she would believe in herself and stopped apologizing to the world all the time. If only Mikan could be more like that crazy lolita fashion designer in the magazine who didn’t care about the norms or what other people thought about him.

Taeko finally swallowed her pride and called out to her senpai. Mikan came rushing as soon as she heard her, with twigs and leaves stuck in her messy hair.

\- “Mikan!” Taeko even surprised herself when she used her senpai’s first name for the first time. “This kitten is dying! Please, save him!”

Mikan quickly collected herself and pulled out her first aid kit from her bag. She didn’t have any previous experience with treating animals but at least she could try to stop the bleeding with some compression bandages. Taeko held down the terrified kitten and called the vet with her other free hand, while Mikan cleaned his wound.

After a dramatic trip to the vet, Taeko carried the sleepy kitten that she has wrapped in a soft towel. It was starting to get chilly outside and Mikan huddled up to Taeko and her purring cat for warmth. She felt at ease when she listened to her kouhai’s heartbeat. The cat’s heart was also still beating, having escaped the grim reaper’s clutches thanks to his guardian angels. Sometimes Celestia Ludenberg remembered her past self with a hint of sadness, the girl who had once saved a life. Celestia Ludenberg only knew how to ruin other people’s lives and she never felt any remorse for it whatsoever. Or at the very least, that was what she was trying to convince herself.

But back then, Taeko Yasuhiro still had her innocence. However, this would soon change as her senpai, in a hushed voice, made a suggestion that made a chill crawl up her spine that ruined the heartwarming and wholesome moment with the kitten.

\- “Let’s get revenge on that scum who betrayed you. We will give him a taste of his own medicine. Make him wish he had stayed inside of his mother, never to come out.”

Slowly a small smirk appeared on Mikan’s face, that grew wider and wider. She would do anything for her beloved Taeko-chan. She wanted power and get revenge on the people who had hurt them.

Her step-father had stolen her childhood innocence which had filled her with an uncontrollable desire to be the one in control. Mikan had started humiliating her dolls by covering their eyes with nail polish. Lately she had felt more and more paranoid, as if she was being watched. In her house there would be no witnesses of the heinous crime, the worst crime one could commit to a child.

She would gladly vent all of her anger on that despicable gremlin who had broken Taeko-chan’s heart.

Taeko wasn’t sure how to respond. The offer was tempting but there was a huge flaw in her senpai’s logic, one that even at her young age, Taeko could simply not ignore.

\- “But doesn’t that make us bullies too…?”

Mikan shook her head. Taeko-chan was just a little confused; she just didn’t know the sweet taste of revenge yet.

\- “An eye for an eye.”


End file.
